Kramerbooks Afterwords Cafe -- Seductive Intelligence

As I stand in front of the bookshelves of Kramerbooks, off Dupont Circle, I can't help but think, "what is going on?" There is a plethora of young professionals, all wearing their weekend best, fully groomed, and smelling of their favorite cologne. Something isn't right. They are holding books. But they are not studying--at least not the words on the pages in front of them. They glance up periodically scanning the floor for looks of approval. The expression on their faces read, "I am a man of culture and intellect. I am the Renaissance Man for whom you search." I realize I am in the midst of a scholarly meat market with no shame.

And how convenient.......the bookstore just happens to be situated ajacent to the "Afterwords Cafe." The transition from academia to social mingling has never been easier. Gentlemen, if your studiousness was not seductive enough, the cafe has an abundance of ploys to get her in the mood. Perhaps she will notice the risque advertisements on the wall--one of which pictures a man on his back wearing a dog collar while a woman tugs at it as she pins him down with her stiletto heel. It reads, "satisfying all appetites."

If the surroundings don't immediately entice her, the food and drink will. Offer her a "Loosey Goosey Cosmo" or if she has just escaped from an unhealthy relationship, woo her with a "Clean Slate Riesling." She will love it! After she feels secure with her tabula rasa indulge her with a "Menage A Trois Rose"--a blend of zinfadel, merlot and cabernet. You can reveal your intentions by ordering an "Original Sin Cider" from the waiter. And after a few drinks she will surely have worked up an appetite for the "French-Cut Hanging Tenderloin of Beef." Bon-Appetite. No pun intended--well, sort of.

Despite the not-so-subtle atmosphere I have to admit the "Peanut Chicken w/ Asian Noodle Stir-Fry" was excellent. And at the very least, Kramerbooks Afterwords Cafe is the greatest venue for people watching I have ever experienced.

Café Milano – Where you have to pay to play

Located on Prospect Street, just west of Wisconsin Avenue, is the small but elegant Café Milano. It offers all that you would expect at an Italian café, good food, wine and friendly service. But what Café Milano really offers, is a chance to flaunt one’s social status, which is why it has become my second favorite DC establishment for people watching (the first is Kramerbooks Afterwords Café).

Café Milano markets itself to the “movers and shakers” of DC—businessmen, politicians, diplomats and of course, socialites. I have been there on two occasions, and on both, I would be lying if I said that I saw anyone of any considerable fame. But you sure wouldn’t know it judging from the designer suits, fashionable dresses, and air of self importance. It is a rare occasion (Halloween) that you can observe someone wearing sunglasses after dark, which certainly speaks to the heightened sense of self that abounds among the patrons of Café Milano. Fortunately for the perpetrator, the bar and dining room were well lit enough to reveal that they were, in fact, designer. And if the moon glasses didn’t tell the entire story, the designer three piece, cufflinks and all, did.

The bar is a scene from the Great Gatsby. There is an obvious dichotomy of company here. The women—young and attractive--have a manner about them that says, “I am not looking for just a husband, but a way of life.” The men, twenty years older on average, have a complementary look that declares, “I can provide that lifestyle. Do you see my suit?” There is nothing that would indicate their message to be false—they really ARE well dressed. I’ll leave the judgment regarding the marital success rate of such matches to the experts.

If you want to ingratiate yourself into this crowd, you are going to have to pay up. There is a premium to dine here. Entrees are in the forty dollar range, and you can get a small pizza for 17 bucks. A glass of wine will run you in the vicinity of fifteen dollars. If you are looking for food, walk south to Filomena’s, it is a better value. But if you are looking to people watch, for next season fashion ideas, or for a husband, come to Café Milano.