Crystal City Sports Pub - Gametime Nirvana

Crystal City Sports Pub rivals ESPN Zone with its capability for hosting sporting events. From the time you enter until the time you leave it is sensory overload—perfect for the sports fanatic seeking to lose their self in a plasma fantasyland.

The first level is the most expansive and family oriented section. And by family oriented, I mean I actually witnessed families dining there at Friday’s Happy Hour. The nuclear family was not the group that I expected to encounter at a sports pub, and true to form, that demographic dissolved over the course of the evening. In any case, the bottom floor is the most conducive to dining as it is more spacious and outfitted with larger tables. Still, you will not miss the big game if you are eating downstairs as there are a plethora of flat screens bearing down on you from every angle.

If you really want to immerse yourself in the game watching experience, walk upstairs. The second floor hosts another bar, and another series of HDTV’s as well as a state-of-the-art sound system. It can be loud at times, but you can count on witnessing every shoestring catch, every buzzer-beater, and every crunch time performance. And finally, if you seek the ultimate display of electronic splendor, visit their brand new non-smoking club level. It hosts one ten foot and two eight foot projection screen televisions, as well as numerous smaller ones for your viewing pleasure. The walls are decked out with sports memorabilia and there is sports ticker tape a la Wall Street. The accompanying scoreboards assure that you will never want for a score or gambling line, regardless of your sport of choice. The 27 foot ceilings add to club level comfort and the windows overlooking 23rd street provide light and the only connection to the outside world. Otherwise, it is a complete escape into sports utopia.

The menu is extensive, and what you would expect from a sports pub. What differentiates them from ESPN Zone is their patronage. I have found the franchise business model can often ostracize the local community in favor of a more corporate clientele. Crystal City Sports Pub has made an effort to coalesce with the surrounding environs, and it shows in the laid back and seemlingly tight knit cliques that frequent the venue.

Clarendon Grill – Bring Your Hard Hat

The decorative scheme at Clarendon Grill is obvious. From the scaffolding on the ceiling to the embedded nails, hammers, nuts, and bolts at the bar, patrons are reminded that they are in a construction site. I understand what they were going for, I just can’t figure out why. Do young professionals secretly yearn to toil nine hour days in the piping heat, after which, they can crack open a few cold ones with their worker buddies? Is Clarendon Grill this fantasy realized?

Despite the odd choice of décor, Clarendon Grill is an ideal venue for entertainment. As you walk in, there is a lower level to the right where various bands set up. The floor is expansive enough to enable dancing and mingling without too much discomfort. Gonzo’s Nose, an 80’s and 90’s cover band, was playing on my last visit. They were extremely entertaining and managed to sound surprisingly like the original artists they mimic—from Duran Duran, to Everclear, to Gwen Stefani. The list is an extensive one. Fans can even visit their website to purchase the must-have of all fanatic attire, the Gonzo’s Nose women’s thong. I digress.

The Bar is set above the dance floor, and albeit by only a few feet, it offers a great perspective for not only watching the band, but for scrutinizing the often overly-intoxicated crowd on the dance floor. Perhaps the greatest feature of Clarendon Grill is the patio. It allows for a much needed escape to those whose ears are ringing, or to those with a nagging cigarette craving. When the weather is nice, the patio is a place to relax with friends--especially now, since they have used some of the construction paraphernalia inside to renovate it.

Clarendon Grill is comfortably expansive, thoroughly entertaining, and well worth the 7$ band cover. So bring your hard hat, and enjoy whatever weekend entertainment they have on tap.